Demons by Imagine Dragons
Don’t get too close, it’s dark inside. It’s where my demons hide.
(Source: picsandquotes, via icanrelateto)
my Papa and I. :DDDD <3
(Source: westboro-baptists, via lolsofunny)
25 January 2014
I miss your sweet replies. I miss our conversations.
19 Jan 2014
Pa, madameng bagong movies si kuya. Madame din akong alam na bagong kanta. Sana naririnig mo pagkanta ko. Ang galing ko kaya.. dba? dba? sigurado nagtatawa ka na naman sa “shine bright like a diamond” ko hihihi miss ko na ang paghalakhak mo tuwing nagcacrazy dance moves ako.. Miss ko na din pala ang duets naten HAHAHA Pa, miss na miss na miss na miss na miss na kita kakulitan. Wala nang katulad mo dito sa earth. haaayyyy. Sana may maganda kang camera dyan para makapagselfie ka ng bongga tapos pagnagkita na tayo madame kang ipapakita saken pate na rin magandang sound system. Miss kna ni snow nung minsan may narinig na sasakyan akala ikaw. Love you, Tata ko.. see you see you..
I wuv you guysh fowevah. muaps! <3
19 Dec 2013 “Clipped Wing”
"…The bond between father and daughter is the most important bond indeed,
It cannot be broken when she finds a man, and become his wife,
It cannot be broken even in the ending of either ones life,
A daughter will always have the memories of her father, her best friend
This bond has a beginning, but there is never an end…”
-Heather Twining, excerpt from Father&Daughter
Losing someone seems hard when you think about it but let me tell you that it’s even worse when you experience it. When I was young, I thought I don’t want to reach my 20s because I thought at that age, I would be very old already. So I guess this is the real reason why I don’t want to turn 20. That my Tata will be taken away from me at that age. When I knew about it, there was this medium-sized painful clump in my chest and it stayed there for days. I have lost my appetite for days. I wasn’t able to sleep that much. I wished that Tata and Nanay met earlier than 1987 so that I’ll be born earlier and so that I was able to spend more years with my father. The idea that I am now a certified member of the Fatherless Club keeps invading my head and it sucks. It all feels like a dream to me. I thought it was just a vivid dream and I would be awaken from it. That after I opened my eyes, I would still see my Tata just like before. But I guess this is the reality I have to face. Well, I still believe that this isn’t my reality. My reality is the second life, if there’s such a thing. Second life is where I could see my Tata once again and extend our father-daughter relationship forever.
Most of my closest friends know that I have a strong bond with my parents. I always want to go home even if my campus is 1 hour away or even if my class ends late. My family makes me feel so secure like when I’m with them nothing else matters. I am not easily affected by the things around me because I know I have a loving family. That is why losing my Tata is like getting my right wing clipped. And it sucks. I’ll miss everything about him: the way he tells me that he always sees me as a 4yo., the way he baby talks us, his enthusiasm about his gadgets or car accessories or even small things like umbrellas, the roadtrips & drive-thrus, the way he whistles on the tune of the modern song that he heard from me, the way his eyes lit-up when he saw me awake saying “ishing na si gee”, the simple foodtrips, the way he tells me “bat ang danda danda mo?” at random times which make me feel like not caring if other guys would find me unattractive because what matters is how my Tata sees me, the way I lean on his arm while watching TV and when he places me on his nape when we were roaming when I was young, when he brings me some gummy candies until now that I am already in college, his random corny/waley jokes which makes me laugh anyways, when he brings us to different places, the way he works so hard and basically I miss everything about him and what he does for his family.
Tata, with you gone I realized that walking down the aisle, treating you to Rio, Australia, Paris, New York etc., feeding you with my future organic salad or driving you to places we want to go are not possible anymore. And it sucks that I have to deal with the fact that I have to spend the rest of my life without you. Nothing beats how that hurts. But on the brighter note, when you went away, I have realized how many lives you’ve touched when I saw them grieved with us. And that lots of people love you. Those quality times we have spent with you is irreplaceable. You may not be here physically, but I know you’re always with me. Others wouldn’t understand how close we were or how we would spend kulitan moments together or how we would laugh about simple things. I could never ever be the same again. I guess I could still be happy after what has happened but that happiness won’t be the same as when you were here. Tata, you are one in a gazillion. It is hard to find fathers who are as sweet, caring, thoughtful, enthusiastic and hands-on as you. You don’t know how much I admire the way you drive fast and how much you were familiarized with the streets in Manila. I feel very blessed that a father like you was given to me. If I were to live again or be reincarnated whatsoever, I would wish my father to still be you. Death is not our final destination. So I guess we’ll meet again in the next life. Miss and love you forever Tata, see you see you. <3 <3 <3
justice for my poppa
09 Dec 2013 “Right Wing Gone”
Papa, miss na miss na miss na miss na kita sobra. =((((( alam ko magagalit ka kase hindi pa rin ako pumasok ngayon. hindi ko talaga kaya Tata. bukas pipilitin ko. gusto kong maging masaya kung nasan ka na ngayon pero hindi ko pa kaya. bigyan mo pa ako ng konting panahon. kala ko hindi na ako iiyak pero eto ako ngayon.
Rene Magritte’s The Treachery of Images.
04 November 2013 “Another First”
First time namen ni ate magcommute papuntang Makati na kame lang talagang dalawa.kase usually kasama namen sina mama at papa sa mga byahe kase sila ang may kotse HAHAHA. tas buti nagreview si ate for the CPA board exam for the last five months yata kaya medyo alam nya yung byahe-byahe well syempre tinuruan din kame kung san sasakay and all. pumunta kme sa ISC Inc. tapos sa PRC through LRT. last time kong sumakay ng LRT/MRT yata eh nung pinaexperience samen ni papa yung pagsakay dun nung bata pa ako yung tipong nag-joyride lang back and forth ng stations.super enjoy lang at kilig :> sa araw na ‘to hihi.
first time EVER na nagpicture kame sa isang kainan.
mejo blurred yung isang photo forgiveness.